The 2 Rules of Fake Bar Fighting

Here is today's story. Bear with me as I refine the format.

Situation: A group of customers has been informed that several members of their party will not be allowed admission because they do not meet the establishment's posted dress code. After the door staff points to the 3'x2' sign they are standing next to which has HOUSE RULES across the top he reads the exact dress code policy. The customers begin to argue with the door staff and after a minute the customers begin a tirade of profanity filled slurs. His girlfriend holds him back from "getting into trouble fighting you white boys". The door staff remains passive to prevent further escalating the situation which has now stopped service at the door and has customers looking out the window. The customer exhibited the two telltale signs of "fake bar fighting".

Bar Fight Rules:
1. If you are talking you are not fighting.
2. If you want to fight someone nobody holds you back.

Working security gives me a front row seat to alot of fistfights. They happen extremely fast and they are vicious. They knock over people, spill drinks and tip tables. So after a while you can tell when people are just embarassed and don't want to look like they got punked by the doorstaff but are truly not ready to fight. They yell things like:

"You're lucky I don't come over there and beat your ***!"
"Don't let me see you on the street."
"I'll see you in the parking lot/at 2AM."

Most times they combine both rules 1 and 2. They pace around feigning intent to break through the crowd to get at the staff. Yelling any combination or variation of insult; they try to convince the crowd and probably themeselves that they are willing to fight.

The doorstaff will remain still, shoulder to shoulder and tell them to walk away. This is the strain of professionalism. In all honesty we are dying to equalize these morons but every night we refrain from indulging this to protect the bar. We have all seen enough fights where everything is quiet and then a guy will bulldoze (shove or even punch) his friend to get through and slug the other guy. No words, just violence. That is the true nature of a fight. Security immediately sizes up aggressive customers and we can tell who is going to fight.

For future reference: Nobody looks tough when they are walking away yelling at the security staff from the corner and especially if their girlfriend is the one holding them back. We are so relieved that that tough guy finds restraint from his 120lb girlfriend.

Drink responsibly and be safe,
-Polite Bouncer